This story had us laughing :) So there I was. Newport and Clark, Chicago Illinois. I was naked, cold, and afraid. I stumbled to and fro, banging on doors, asking for a home for the night, just to get out of the cold. A blanket was throw at me for I was exposing myself to the cold Chicago lakefront elements (and various nighttime commuters). I spun around and was shocked to find that - yes - it was Pete Wentz’s “Clandestine Industries” door that was ajar and that - sweet tapdancing Jesus - THEY HAD CLOTHES. I pounded my feet on the pavement and exclaimed “Oodelally! Golly what a day!” and rushed into the enclave of fashion, my eyes dancing out of my head and my brain already hurting from seeing so much color and wonder.I wanted everything in the store, but the kindly punk rocker behind thecounter wagged his finger. “Tsk tsk!” he said, “You can’t carryEVERYTHING!”. I nodded sheepishly. “How about a Bat-heart-wing-thingysweathirt?” he said, and just as I was about to felate him out of puregratitude he handed it to me and for once dear reader I was warm again.Not just warm because of the sweatshirt, but because OF THE LOVE OFCLANDESTINE INDUSTRIES. - Ned Hepburn 

This story had us laughing :)

So there I was. Newport and Clark, Chicago Illinois. I was naked, cold, and afraid. I stumbled to and fro, banging on doors, asking for a home for the night, just to get out of the cold. A blanket was throw at me for I was exposing myself to the cold Chicago lakefront elements (and various nighttime commuters). I spun around and was shocked to find that - yes - it was Pete Wentz’s “Clandestine Industries” door that was ajar and that - sweet tapdancing Jesus - THEY HAD CLOTHES. I pounded my feet on the pavement and exclaimed “Oodelally! Golly what a day!” and rushed into the enclave of fashion, my eyes dancing out of my head and my brain already hurting from seeing so much color and wonder.I wanted everything in the store, but the kindly punk rocker behind thecounter wagged his finger. “Tsk tsk!” he said, “You can’t carryEVERYTHING!”. I nodded sheepishly. “How about a Bat-heart-wing-thingysweathirt?” he said, and just as I was about to felate him out of puregratitude he handed it to me and for once dear reader I was warm again.Not just warm because of the sweatshirt, but because OF THE LOVE OFCLANDESTINE INDUSTRIES. - Ned Hepburn